Quitting without failing
Lessons from my media detox burnout
I burned out.
After six weeks of drastically changing my media consumption and filling out a morning and evening survey to collect data, I quit. (I’ve been in the midst of a 109-day life experiment where I break free from my habits of constant media consumption.)
I didn’t consciously come to terms with it until I was a few days in, that I had stopped doing everything. I wasn’t filling out my reflections. I downloaded the YouTube app and was deep-diving into interviews about cults, deconstructing from fundamental religion, and how parts of the coaching industry strongly resemble MLMs (check out Danielle Ryan’s channel on that if you’re interested).
Apparently, 109 straight days of a big change is too long for my system at this time.
Well, to be fair, I had added in another big ask of myself around the time I temporarily quit. I’d created so much space and sense of agency by renegotiating my terms of engagement with media, that I added another big piece in — leaning into an anti-inflammatory diet.
I don’t know about you, but changing my mouth-based consumption takes a lot of awareness, intention, and bandwidth to surf cravings and shift patterns.
Here’s what I did. Once I consciously noticed that I had quit my media experiment, I considered my options and decided to lift all asks of myself in the media consumption area for a week, then recommit for the remaining 6 weeks.
I also gave myself permission to shift any of my parameters based on what I had learned in the first half. Here are some of the ideas I’m playing with:
While sticking to a general rule of 60 minutes a day of solo media consumption, opening it up to YouTube in addition to audiobooks or podcasts.
Giving myself more time on a day off when I’m doing a lot of chores or errands — it’s nice to listen to podcasts or audiobooks in that zone.
Doing one day a week without media consumption.
The possibility of connecting solo media consumption as an incentive to doing things I might be putting off — certain house projects or scrubbing toilets.
The exciting part of this experience for me is that quitting didn’t mean I quit for real. It’s how much I had my own back rather than turning on myself. I recognized that my system was overloaded with change and allowed myself to ease up the reins for a rest.
Even though I quit for a bit, I was able to stay out of self-judgment and all-or-nothing thinking. I found a way to reengage in a way that feels good, and am excited to see what I discover during the second half of the experience.
In the past, quitting would have meant quitting for good and harshly judging myself in the background for the foreseeable future. Instead, this time is about staying engaged with the intention, even if it hasn’t turned out exactly as I envisioned.
What do you do when you find yourself overwhelmed and quit something for a while? What is the process of change like for you? Has your way of enacting change shifted over the years?
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